Don't Kid Yourself!

There is never extra time, not ever!   Silly me forgot that this morning.  I got up with the first ring of the alarm.  Ok, so I wake to music but you get the point.  I didn't hit snooze and I didn't have to drag my arse out of bed.  Just popped up and even had an extra spring.  I should have known right then and there! 

 

So I walk out of my room and start my daily routine.  Turn PC on, go make coffee, stop and throw some water on my face.  I sit down and notice the time on the computer, cool I have time.  I read my mail, check alerts, and then decide I have time for a quick graphic and an entry.  I find the blue bird and fix it up all purdy like and post a little something.  Then off I go to get ready for work.

 

I'll first start by stating I iron everything, whether it needs or not.  Always been that way.   Yesterday morning I turned the iron on and when I went back it wasn't hot.  I jiggled the wires, and turned it up a bit higher.  Still nothing.  So I lift it up to examine it, like I'd see anything!  But yes, yes I did.  I saw the water pour out the bottom.  Great!  What am I going to wear to work.  I rummage through my closet and believe me I found nothing like I wore for the red carpet event.  All I was looking for was something that could pass without an iron.  Gawd I hated dressing.  It wasn't bad, but I iron everything!  So fine, on the way home last night I stop and get a new iron.  No big deal Friday will be better. 

 

This morning I went to get the iron out of the box.  I get a paper cut under my nail.  DAMN!  That hurt!  No crying, I just went and set it up and turned it on. Went to my room to pull out the clothes for the day.  I get back to the iron and it's not hot.  WTF!?!  I turn it off and check out buttons and knobs.  Ok, how hard can this be?  Turn knob over to here and it gets hot.  NOT!!!  So now I'm thinking it's not the iron but the outlet.  I bought a new iron for nothing.  I grab the little table lamp and plug it in.  Ah hah, I have light.  Great, I bought a broken iron!!  So I look at all the buttons and knobs, what the hell am I missing?  How come I can't get this freaking thing on?  How come there are so many knobs and buttons.  It's a damn iron for Gawd sake!  An 8$ iron, not a 50$ one.  I need it to get hot, have steam, and maybe a spray, that's it.  I've got nothing!  So I go to the box and say ok, I've never had to read directions for an iron before, but lets see what it says.  Hmmm Caution:  Do not submerge in water while plugged in.  NO Shit!  Really?  I wanted to do that!  Caution:  Do not touch plate while on it is extremely hot.  NO shit!?  It does get hot?  How come its not.  So then I look at all the little pictures of the knobs and buttons.  Yeap I knew all that.  But how the hell does it go on!  There buried in the fine print is a notice about the safety latch.  HUH?  Safety latch?  I've never in my life heard of such a thing.  I suppose it's a good idea but I had to wonder how many of these irons got returned because folks didn't get them to work and weren't as spazzy as me about ironing.  So I go back to the iron and there buried on the bottom between the casing and the plate is this itty bitty tiny little switch, knob, whatever.  I pull it out and presto!  :::shaking head:::

 

Clothes ironed and laid out.  I get to the shower turn it on and jump in. Ok, not literally!  Since I'm wearing tan Capri's I decide I best shave my legs.  I mean I generally do  but definitely need to today, no skimping.  I lather the legs, grab the razor.  My one foot on the end of the tub.  I bend over to glide the razor across my leg and whhhhhhhhhoaaa

my other foot slips.  I'm going to do a half ass split in my tub.  I've not done a split since cheerleading days and there was no way my legs were going to do that today.  I grab and of course pull on the shower curtain.  No, the whole thing didn't come down, but a few ringlets ripped through.  At the same time the razor takes a nice chunk out of my leg.  Oh hell that hurt and now I'm bleeding all over.  I'm cursing as I try to regain my composure, get the bleeding to stop and finish my shower.  Grab shampoo and wash my hair.  Now you may or may not know from previous entries but I got a wild head of hair.  So conditioner it is or I'd never be able to get a comb through it.  Bend over grab bottle and squirt.  I start working it through my hair only to find I grabbed the liquid bath soap and I'm sudsing up all over.  Rinse and try again. 

 

Ok all done.  I didn't kill myself in the shower.  Wrapped in a towel I stand at the mirror to put mascara on.  My hair still up in a towel.  OMG!  I just blinded myself poking the tip of the mascara wand into my eye.  Burning, tears, and more burning.  Rinse my eye and get dressed while the redness and tears clear up some what so I can start over.  I get dressed without incident but I did check to make sure I had my under garments on.  You never know with the day I was having.  Finish makeup, brush my teeth, rinse, gargle, all that good stuff.  Get to my shoes and I have one.  One?  How the hell did I take off my shoes and lose one?  Ok, find it buried under other shoes.  Must have been in a hurry the other day when I just threw them in the closet. 

 

Go to leave and damn it!  I needed to make my car payment.  Log back on, get to the site and wouldn't you know I can't seem to remember my password.  How can that be?  I use the same one or a variation of the same one for everything so this doesn't happen.  Finally get in and click click and done. 

 

Extra time?  Spare time?  Not on your life!  I have to fly to get to work on time.  Then I get to the toll booth.  Yes I pay to go to work every day.  Sucks!  It's only 75 cents so I will live.  Pull up to booth, I have a $20 and nothing smaller.  OMG!  Felt like I was in a comedy skit. 

 

Day did get better, and seemed to go by without a hitch.  Lets hope I make it to my bed tonite without killing myself.