.. yes, if I could turn back time I'd go more then an hour. I did remember.. it just wasn't far enough. I've always been one that said, 'I'd change nothing in my past to alter my future.' The what if's would change way too much. If I had taken that path instead....... I always came back to my son. He is such an important part of my life I would do nothing to alter the chances of him being here with me. My rock, my soul. Then I sit and think, if I could change a little what would it be. Would it make a difference today? What could I, or any body, have done to have this awful disease not touch my sister. To have it not touch anyone. To sit and helplessly watch, to ache, to hope....... to have prayer upon prayer and nothing changes. I'm selfish...... I want her better. I want to have months and months back!! Years! I shed tears as I try make sense of 'things happen for a reason.' What possible reason? 'You are not given more then you can handle' Bullshit!! Life is so unfair.............. if I could turn back time.
48 comments:
oh D I agree..time doesn't heal all wounds either......
im so sorry about ur sister. and sorry about the pain u r going thru. I dont think theres anything u could have done, its not ur fault, and no its not fair. *hugs*
Donna, sending healing prayers up for your sister, Hugs Lisa
When we look back to certain times,remembering , if only we knew then how happy we were ,prayers still coming your way ...love Jan xx
((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))You are not selfish.God bless you.
My positive thoughts and prayers will continue for you and yours always. I wish things were different. Take care my friend,
Katie
I agree Donna ...life is so unfair
A special prayer is being said for your sister right now
Big hugs sent to you
Mari
Don't want to be crude or crass, Donna, but you can't turn back time. It's a shame, because I understand (I think) why you'd want to. Why I myself would want to. Just as well we can't, in a way. Have a good afternoon.
Guido
My prayers and thoughts are with you today, Donna, god bless if only we could turn back time in just some instances. This dreadful disease has no rhyme or reason, in the last month alone i have seen it take several friends from me and i learned today another one is very close to losing their life. Candles and prayers for your sister and a special prayer for you my friend as those who stand by and just watch sometimes need the prayers even more. God bless.
Just wanted to send you
(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
You are in my thoughts!!!
Ellie
Why is it everyones blogs I read at the moment, I want to cry....... Biggest hugs ever to you D. You mate across the pond.
Gaz xxxxxx
I can feel you hurting so much Donna and I realy do sypathize with all that is going on for you right now.Hope and prayers I am afraid and understanding is all we can do. I went through it all with my Father for yrs and lost my best friend last yr.Many more relations and friends too.My candle has been lit earlier today and prayers have been said and will continue to be.Sorry to read you hurting so much.Take Care God Bless Hugs Kath
astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLRHYMES
Ohhh, hunny!! If only...((hugss))
Bethe
Hugs and Prayers my friend!
jean
Just stopping by to say you are in my thoughts...
Dona
I am so sorry... your pain, your frustration, your desperation, I hear it in every word you wrote, and you are right... it is bullshit. Some kind of cosmic/human bullshit that is random and unfair and just awful.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with it at all. I am so sorry that your sister is suffering. I wish I could do more than offer you my words, my prayers and cyber hugs....
be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/
I am so sorry you and your sister have so much pain. Wish I could do something more than words,but ill pray.
I am going now to light that candle...many hugs and ton's of love to you and your dear sister...
Joyce
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sister always....
Michele
I have never believed people who say they wouldn't change a thing, mostly because I think at the very least there's those little things we'd change, something we said that caused another pain when we didn't mean to, to big things like not allowing my parents to smoke around me when I was pg with Jordyn or not allowing them to smoke around her after she was born and good chance she would not have ended up with cancer (the type she had one of the causes is exposure while in utero to 2nd hand smoke as well as after)... there's plenty of things I'd have changed if I could from little to fairly big. Would I change things that would alter my meeting and marrying Chad, nope or my children of course not...but plenty I'd go back and change or do/say differently.
As far as the quote about God not giving us more than we can handle, it's imo the most misquoted verse from the bible...he's talking about TEMPTATION, he will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle...none of these situations which others just seem to LOOOOVE using this verse for. I can not STAND hearing it misused, because more often than not, it causes people such pain.
Here it is accurately: 1Cr 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
You all remain in my prayers.
God Bless
Christy
I wish there was something I could do to help you and your sister through all of this pain! I WILL keep the prayers going up ... in my heart, thots & prayers!
Hugs ~ Lois B
I will light another candle for you and your sister. Hugs, Maria
I feel your anguish and pain. I so wish that there was an answer to our prayers soon.
God Bless your sister and all of her family as well as you.
Prayers being said and a candle being lit whilst saying them.
Hugs
Jeanie xx
Thinking of you Donna, and lighting a 'Candle' for your Sister. These were my words today, regarding 'Wishing I could go back in time, with my own health issues'
Unfortunately, we cannot, but I do understand!
Love 'N hugs
Aileen....X
I often wonder why things are happening too. We are going through alot right now and I wish upon every star and pray evertime I look at the sky. I wish at 7:11 (My lucky number) and 11:11. There isn't a moment that I don't wonder WHY?
http://journals.aol.com/lattedah711/lattedah/ Tracy
Im so sorry Donna, there is so much pain in this world that we just dont understand why..they have got to find a cure for the horrible diseases affecting us and our loved ones ..cancer,Aids, diabetis,alzheimers,ms, and so much more. Lets all pray for breakthru's ........and miracles.
h
Donna, *hugs* and many many prayers for ur sis, u and ur family. I wish i could offer more. I wont even begin to say i truly understand ;( however i do relate. I felt that same way when both of my grandparents unexpectedly passed away yrs ago :( I dont understand at all myself why these things happen. No1 ever does. I will never get why cancer, aids, other tragic diseases are out there, why they put ppl thru so much pain and illness. All we all can do is pray, pray really hard. Have as much faith as we can and hope. I will light a candle for ur sis dear. Take care hun, *hugs again* Love, Leslie
Big hugs my friend..I often wonder the same thing..but would never not want to lose having my kids. I'm afraid that I would not have the thing that fulfills me the most and that is them! Praying for your sister! Hugs,TerryAnn
((((((((((Donna)))))))))))
I can so relate to not regretting the past, as what is in the past leads to your son. I often look back on things I could have done differently, but know that none of that matters because I have my precious daughters and they are EVERYTHING to me.
Continued prayers for your sister ~ you are not selfish. You love her dearly, and she loves you. Some things happen for no damn good reason. I have come to realize this. Some things are just not meant to be understood. And it sucks.
Love you...
Chelle
{{{HUGS}}}
Oh hon...I hurt for you. I wish so much I could make your sister all better for you. There are a lot of things I wish for right now. I completely know where you are coming from. I may not be going through the same thing as you but I know the feelings of being lost & hopelessness. I told another friend of mine just yesterday I think that this year may be cursed. I know it sounds weird but everyone I know has gone through HELL this year with no signs of it letting up. Myself and my family included. Please know you are always in my thoughts & prayers.
Love & Hugs,
Veronica
((((((((((Hugs)))))))) Donna, for all of you that are in so much pain living with this illness or having to stand by and watch helplessly.
h
I relit my candle for your sis and you. I wish you both were not going through this.
many hugs,
Russ
Donna
My prayers go out to you and your family. If I could help you go back and change anything that would have prevented this I would. It is beyond us all, though, and all I can offer is my support and continued prayer. From me you have both.
Sam
Donna.....My prayers are with you and your family.
Lisa
I agree all those phrases such as things happen for a reason are bullcrap! I do wish I could turn back time in some instances but... I do enjoy alot of aspects of my life! Linda
i understand how you can feel like this.....there are not really words to sooth you and your family at a time like this....just know that each day you are in my thoughts, my heart and i include all of your family in my prayers. I am so sorry.....if only there was some way to find more time. She knows you love her unconditonally and that in itself is a blessing.
i love you.
lj
Thinking of you and your family, D.
XOXO,
bridgett
No, it doesn't make sense. Alot of cancer has touched my family as well. Am thinking of you, and praying for your sister. Hugs, Val xox
http://journals.aol.com/valphish/ThereisaSeason
I'm so sorry about your sister I know what you are going through My brother passed at the age of 17 and that just not far but you will get threw it pray and just let god have your pain god bless you and your family
After reading this...I remember that scene in Steal Magnolias where they are at the grave side and the mother is crying and ranting about life, her wants, and the unfairess of it all....and then just when the tenison is so high...it's broke with a moment of humor...."HERE HIT WEEZER!!!" Remeber?
Wishes & Hope to You and Yours.....Brenda
h
I couldn't agree more, if we could just turn back time =(
Going to light a candle....
((((((((((((((((((Donna)))))))))))))))))
Hugs
Terri
Life just isn't fair Donna. I've never believed that old saying that things happen for a reason. They're just words of comfort people use when they don't know what to say. I just wish you could turn back time to a point when your sister was healthy. Keeping you all in my prayers. Jeannette xx
There are aspects of this life that out and out suck. With my family, it hasn't been cancer that tears us apart. It's diabetes. It is a very mean disease. It takes life one organ at a time. That is if you're given that much time. What a world this would be without any disease.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay
I have to agree Life is not fair Donna. i asked this self same question many years ago when my aunt died. She was the sweetest person you could ever wish to meet, never hurt a fly but still she was taken away from us. It makes my blood boil that their are evil people out there who hurt people and yet they bare still here to tell the story, just doesn't seem fair in my eyes.
Hugs Jayne
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