~ What is IT doing? ~

    

A dreary day today.  Work flew by, and at lunch I went to my car to run an errand.  As I made my way through the parking lot it was dark, fairly warm, and raining.  As I started my car I was almost hypnotized by what I saw on my windshield.  Big fat rain drops landing on the glass, even without the sun they glistened.  Smaller drops fell, cling cling off the glass as they stuck like crystals in a fuzzy blanket.  As I watched, an occasional drop would run down the glass.  Then another.  It looked as though they were racing for a gold medal.  Sometimes the second drop would pass the first.  Like tear drops running down someone's cheek.  It was an amazing sight to see.  Simple, but amazing.  Something I rarely paid attention to before.  Maybe I did, but today it was in a different light.  Not every drop slid down the glass, not everyone stuck.  Some just splashed.  A mixture of rain, ice, and snow.  What is it doing? 

 

This evening my niece stopped by with the kids.  Bug had gifts for my sister and I.  She had gone shopping with her Grandma, but could not wait to give us our treasures.  Treasures they were.  She bought us each a holiday pin.  I can't wait to wear mine.  Two candy cans forming a heart, outlined in sterling silver with a little bell.  It will look perfect on my black sweater.  She's such a sweet heart.  Non stop she told stories, bouncing from here to there in my house.  She asked for my nut cracker so she could have nuts.  I looked and told her I didn't have those kinds of nuts.  'Yes you do Aunt Donna.'  I smiled.  'No, bug, I don't.'  She ran to my kitchen and pointed to a bag on the top of my microwave.  Pistachio nuts.  'My favorite, can I have some?'  I felt horrible, but they were part of a gift and I couldn't open the bag.  She pouted for a second until I offered her cashews.  Smiles ear to ear.  She told me about her shopping trip, about the gifts she bought, and who she bought for.  She made us all aware she bought a bear for her very best friend.  Her Great Aunt, my sister.  I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.  With her serious little face she asked, 'how will she come down from heaven, will she slide down?'  I wanted to hug her tight, and try to explain.  We all just looked at her.  How do you explain to a 4 year old that you don't come back?  She went on to tell us she will be here for Christmas.  No one argued, she will be.   Talking about my sister as though she just had a conversation with her.  Did she?   So innocent and pure, no reason to doubt, open to all possibilities.  They say small children have a sense.  I believe our little bug does.  Call me nuts.

 

She sang a few songs for us, including saying her ABC's.  She asked me to take a movie.  LOL  A switch for sure.  I did take a video.  She was a hoot.  She did pretty good too.  See for yourself.  When she was done she wanted the camera.  She had me pose silly.  'Cross your eyes, tip your head, make a funny face with your mouth.  No like this', as she made Mr Ed type lips.  For one split second I thought about posting it.  Nope, not on your life.  It is a treasure though.  Suppose she was acting like me?  'Smile, look at the camera, no a nice smile.'  I think I may have created a monster.  :)

 

I had to shut down my computer a bit ago.  It's still raining, or whatever it is IT is doing, and my lights flickered a bit.  It appeared the houses across the street lost power.  I decided it best to just shut down.  I never lost power, just time.  So I'm sorry I if I didn't get to you, or get your tag out.  I will. 

 

I also want to apologize.  After reading some comments and mails, I read my entry from yesterday again.  I did not mean to imply people forgot my sister.  I'm not even sure what I meant, but it sure as hell wasn't that.  I wanted to thank you for keeping the candles lit with me.  Nothing more nothing less.  No subconscious guilt if you hadn't, no subconscious guilt to get you to go and light one.  I'm sorry if any one felt as though I was pointing at them.  It truly was not my intent. 

 

Hope everyone is safe and warm this evening.  I will leave you with Bug singing her ABC's... maybe next it will Christmas Carols. 

 

Hugs

~d

 

             

Tags: gifts, treasures, children