When I Grow Up

Well, I had a gazillion graphics I could have used for this entry, but decided this one fit the bill.  I had a ton of laundry to do today and pretty much played all day in between loads.  The phone rang a few times and each time my heart did a little stutter as I wasn't sure what I was going to do.  I figured I would say no, but just wasn't sure.  We ate dinner early, by our standards, and it was after that the phone rang again.   I picked it up and heard that voice once again.  I was much better prepared to talk this time as I was expecting the call.  So much had happened in the past, and I really did like it without him in my life.

 

We did our pleasantries and then he asked about doing something.  I told him I needed some more information, some answers about his life before I could intelligently do anything.  He laughed and told me, 'just like you, over thinking everything.'  I didn't think I was over thinking at all and told him so.  With that I asked about his marriage.  I knew he had gotten married several years back, but he isn't the topic of conversation when I see friends that know him, so I had no idea where that stood.  I told him that I never thought to ask the last time he called as he threw me for a loop.  He hesitated a second and then told me they were still together, but barely.  I asked what the hell he was doing and why? 

 

With that I did not want to go out, I wasn't even sure I wanted to talk to him.  I told him that he needed to adjust his life accordingly.  I didn't think it to be a good idea to try and rekindle a friendship at this stage.   I also told him he needs to think long and hard about what he is doing.  I was not going to be something to cloud his judgement on what path he takes.  Friend or otherwise.  He whined a bit and maybe even moaned.  So I told him I was going to watch the hockey game and he was more then welcome to stop by and watch with me.  I figured being in my home I'd be in control and I knew he wouldn't come as he never did like hockey, but only put up with it for me.  We talked a bit more about his decision to even pick up the phone to call me.  He went on to say he wasn't looking for anything and after seeing me a couple weeks ago he remembered all the fun we had, all the talks, and I threw in, all the sex?  We both laughed, but it really wasn't funny, not then.  We talked a bit more about the situation and he got another call he had to take so he said he would call back.

 

With the return call it was decided that he wouldn't come over.  ::whew:: wiping brow!  We did talk for another thirty minutes or so.  It was fun to laugh with him and get caught up on our lives.  I did try to cut the call short a couple of times as I didn't want to give the wrong impression, but with each attempt he told me something else.  Letting me know his wife had an affair and they will be ending their relationship legally very soon.  The rest had been ended a while ago.  I felt bad, but he needs to get his affairs in order, breath, let the dust settle.  We said good bye, I don't think he'll call again.

 

About a half hour after we hung up the phone rang again.  Damn it!  I'm trying to watch my boys!!  This call was very different.  It was a mutual friend.  One I adore.  Jimmy has saved me from myself on more then one occasion.  I laughed when I heard him and before he could say a word I asked if he got a call.  His response was, 'D, I will stand by you whatever you decide, but want to tell you, he is getting a divorce but please don't go back to that place.'  I smiled and told him I knew, I had no intention of it.  We talked through the entire hockey game and will be doing lunch on Tuesday. 

 

So all in all the mystery is solved.  The man wants to return to his childhood.  He doesn't want to move forward but rather back where he thinks comfort is.  I'm not sad, nor am I hurt.  I think he was lonely and wanted a voice that could comfort him.  Not sure he got that.  Me, well I got a lunch date with a very special man in my life and I can't wait, it's been way to long since we've seen each other.  And, no, no romance there.  I couldn't, I wouldn't.  We both decided long ago our friendship is to important to spoil.