Tuesday, December 11, 2007

~ What is IT doing? ~

     DsDesignsSantasList.gif picture by 55hockeyfan


A dreary day today.  Work flew by, and at lunch I went to my car to run an errand.  As I made my way through the parking lot it was dark, fairly warm, and raining.  As I started my car I was almost hypnotized by what I saw on my windshield.  Big fat rain drops landing on the glass, even without the sun they glistened.  Smaller drops fell, cling cling off the glass as they stuck like crystals in a fuzzy blanket.  As I watched, an occasional drop would run down the glass.  Then another.  It looked as though they were racing for a gold medal.  Sometimes the second drop would pass the first.  Like tear drops running down someone's cheek.  It was an amazing sight to see.  Simple, but amazing.  Something I rarely paid attention to before.  Maybe I did, but today it was in a different light.  Not every drop slid down the glass, not everyone stuck.  Some just splashed.  A mixture of rain, ice, and snow.  What is it doing? 

 

This evening my niece stopped by with the kids.  Bug had gifts for my sister and I.  She had gone shopping with her Grandma, but could not wait to give us our treasures.  Treasures they were.  She bought us each a holiday pin.  I can't wait to wear mine.  Two candy cans forming a heart, outlined in sterling silver with a little bell.  It will look perfect on my black sweater.  She's such a sweet heart.  Non stop she told stories, bouncing from here to there in my house.  She asked for my nut cracker so she could have nuts.  I looked and told her I didn't have those kinds of nuts.  'Yes you do Aunt Donna.'  I smiled.  'No, bug, I don't.'  She ran to my kitchen and pointed to a bag on the top of my microwave.  Pistachio nuts.  'My favorite, can I have some?'  I felt horrible, but they were part of a gift and I couldn't open the bag.  She pouted for a second until I offered her cashews.  Smiles ear to ear.  She told me about her shopping trip, about the gifts she bought, and who she bought for.  She made us all aware she bought a bear for her very best friend.  Her Great Aunt, my sister.  I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.  With her serious little face she asked, 'how will she come down from heaven, will she slide down?'  I wanted to hug her tight, and try to explain.  We all just looked at her.  How do you explain to a 4 year old that you don't come back?  She went on to tell us she will be here for Christmas.  No one argued, she will be.   Talking about my sister as though she just had a conversation with her.  Did she?   So innocent and pure, no reason to doubt, open to all possibilities.  They say small children have a sense.  I believe our little bug does.  Call me nuts.

 

She sang a few songs for us, including saying her ABC's.  She asked me to take a movie.  LOL  A switch for sure.  I did take a video.  She was a hoot.  She did pretty good too.  See for yourself.  When she was done she wanted the camera.  She had me pose silly.  'Cross your eyes, tip your head, make a funny face with your mouth.  No like this', as she made Mr Ed type lips.  For one split second I thought about posting it.  Nope, not on your life.  It is a treasure though.  Suppose she was acting like me?  'Smile, look at the camera, no a nice smile.'  I think I may have created a monster.  :)

 

I had to shut down my computer a bit ago.  It's still raining, or whatever it is IT is doing, and my lights flickered a bit.  It appeared the houses across the street lost power.  I decided it best to just shut down.  I never lost power, just time.  So I'm sorry I if I didn't get to you, or get your tag out.  I will. 

 

I also want to apologize.  After reading some comments and mails, I read my entry from yesterday again.  I did not mean to imply people forgot my sister.  I'm not even sure what I meant, but it sure as hell wasn't that.  I wanted to thank you for keeping the candles lit with me.  Nothing more nothing less.  No subconscious guilt if you hadn't, no subconscious guilt to get you to go and light one.  I'm sorry if any one felt as though I was pointing at them.  It truly was not my intent. 

 

Hope everyone is safe and warm this evening.  I will leave you with Bug singing her ABC's... maybe next it will Christmas Carols. 

 

Hugs

~d

 
             

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

How old is Bug again?  She did really well with her ABC's!  She's so cute, Donna!!!  She actually reminds me of my second cousin, Victoria.  They look a lot alike.  

And you know....I had this friend who's 6 year old son died from neuroblastoma.  Just hours before he died, he was talking to angels about a ladder.  His mom sat and listened as he and the angels had their discussion.  

I do believe there's something to children hearing and seeing what we adults can't.  

XOXO,
bridgett

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Anonymous said...

Oh how precious can she be!!!  How old is Bug?  How cute that she could not wait to give you her Christmas gift.

Big hugs sent to you ....have a great Wednesday

Snagged this tag too

Anonymous said...

she is absolutely precious....thanks so much for sharing the video....really brightened up my day!!!!
Have a terrific wednesday!!
Peace--Ellie

Anonymous said...

Donna, Bug is too cute !!!!!!!!! Glad you had a nice visit  with her today, Hugs Lisa

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Anonymous said...

Sounds like you're getting the ice/rain we've had since Saturday.  It'll pass.  

xxxxx
Russ

Anonymous said...

Bug is so cute and adorable! Through the eyes of a child and the glistening of tears as they fell before you, your sister came to give you comfort. Embrace these precious moments, your sister will carry you to heights unimagined, she will wrap her arms around you and give you a sense of peace if only for awhile. No, you are not nuts, she is there.
Donna, you should apoligize to no one for keeping the candles for your sister burning. I could see nothing wrong in what you wrote in your last entry that would make anyone feel that you were asking them to do the same. I saw it as a heartfelt thank you as it was intended.
Hugs
Debbie

Anonymous said...

The video is so sweet Donna.Reminds me of when my Grandaughters first learned the same thing LOL.She is a beauty and so lovely to buy her Aunt Donna such a lovely gift and Sis a Teddy too.Awwww Bless her.Treasure it.Take Care God Bless Kath
astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

Anonymous said...

Oh Donna ,what a little sweet heart ,such innocence !..love Jan xx

Anonymous said...

Bug is adorable.  Children are the closet to God, of anyone on earth.  It's my belief that if God's voice can, indeed, be heard...it is by the innocent children.  

Enjoy your pin, and the presence of your loving sister.  

Blessings,

Cindy

Anonymous said...

What a descriptive entry,almost like being there (lol)
Pistachio's....the only Nut I can eat juat now, love them.
Cute little Bug, so precious!....love to hear your accent,in the background
Have a good Day
Aileen.....X

PS with your help (gifs) I understand a little better!

Anonymous said...

Enjoy your Wednesday!
Missie

Anonymous said...

I just recently heard my sweet little granddaughter sing this very song for the first time, Donna, so your video had a very pleasant "tugging at my heart" feelng! Thank you SO much for sharing ... Bug is a cutie, no doubt about it!  Have a beautiful day.

Peace!
Linda

Anonymous said...

What a little darling Bug is!   And she is bound to be a famous singing star one day too, with a beautiful voice like hers.   Her Aunt has a lovely accent as well. <smile>
'how will she come down from heaven, will she slide down?'
Just like the raindrop tears on your car windscreen I would say....thinking of her and you too.
Love
Jeanie xx

Anonymous said...

This little girl is so very precious, what a beautiful wee angel she is.  A friend of mine her daughter passed away.  I went to Australia to help her raise her two granchildren to get over the rough patches.  She also had another grandaughter just a year old she turned two while I was there.  She had never met her Aunt who died.  I love to garden and she would follow me everywhere, just turned two while I was there.  She always talked as if her Aunt were there with her, in the special place I made for this little angel.  When we would go in the car, she would say Theresa coming to.  She knew who she was from a picture on my friends computer.  I truly believe she could see, my friend's daughter.  I never met this girl who passed away yet I felt a connection there is a story that proves this girl was with us on our travels through Australia, too long to go into here.  I believe your sister will indeed slide down from heaven as your niece has told you but in her own way.  She will let you know she is with you at Christmas.  God bless.  I do believe the raindrops on your windshield were a messge from her.

Anonymous said...

Aye, that little girl got it right somehow. Donna, nuts, you? You had plenty in the house at any rate.

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Anonymous said...

She's too cute! She's the same age as my Jackson! :) It's a gift when we can recognize the small gifts God gives us...like the way rain hits our windshields!

((((((((((((Donna))))))))))))

I'm off to catch up on your journal.

God Bless
Christy

Anonymous said...

aaawwww, she is just so adorable! :o) Thank you for sharing the video. :o)
Lisa

Anonymous said...

Oh, she's so cute!  And I am so happy you all have her to help you through this first Christmas without your sister.  

Anonymous said...

(((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))))Bug si so pretty,that smile.I can see so much love from HEr.Have a good day.

Anonymous said...

Cashews are better. That kid doesn't miss anything in your house does she?  I want to see the pin on Aunt Donna. ~Mary

Anonymous said...

I won't be calling you nuts cuz I belive that sometimes kids are much more in touch with things like that then we are. Maybe she did talk to her.  Linda

Anonymous said...

Cute as a bugs ear with a wonderful sense! Hoping your everyday is a happy one! Take care and enjoy,
Katie

Anonymous said...

u are a dreamer.

Anonymous said...

How cute is she :o)  Thanks for sharing the story and the video xx

Jenny

Anonymous said...

Wow hun, u never cease to amaze me. U can descirbe something like rain just so vividly like i am right there seeing it and being right here what u went thru driving in it. I really love the way u write dear. Hope that weather went away though i cant imagine driving in that no thanks, lol. Thats great that Bug came by to visit and give u ur gifts. Thats so sweet of her she gave u the holiday pins very sweet and special. Aww bless her heart for her talking about what she got for ur sis and what she said. Children just know so much and express so beautifully and are so innocent. That had to have been hard for u all :( I exactly agree with u i dont know or can imagine what to say to a 4 yr old about how some1 who passes dont come back. Not physically anyway as u said ur sister will be there in spirit, in ur hearts and soul. I dont think ur nuts at all dear. I believe all children have the little sesnes they know they truly do. I cant wait to watch the movie. I plan to right after i finish reading this. Speaking of i posted a few days aog and have some movies up too of my little one. The video sounds adorable and she sounds so smart. I cant wait to watch it ;) I hope the weather cleared up by now im sure it did. Storms like that u deinfetly have to be careful with things in ur home. I know u didnt mean to imply hun about any of us forgetting ur sis. I know i havent i still pray for her daily and for u all. I will go by to lit one though. Not out of gulit hun but because i want to and i care. Take care hun, love, Leslie

Anonymous said...

awww how sweet!

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Anonymous said...

Bug is totally precious!! I love that video. She loves you so....i know you will treasure that pin forever.....i did not take what you said in a negative way at all....just want you to know i love you and am ALWAYS here for you.
lisa

Anonymous said...

Oh how sweet and adorable!  Linda

Anonymous said...

The steps of grief are hard..its ok you can be mad...its easy to be mad at us were here and avialble..I know you wasn't just saying if you want to be its ok...
Its hard and noone can say anything or do anything to change the way through it..
You will always have a feeling in your heart probably forever. Time helps but honestly it never takes it away...We love and care for you
Donna In TEXAS

Anonymous said...

Cute.....

Have a wonderful evening Donna....enjoy.

Michele

Anonymous said...

OMG Donna......... she is adorable.......... and yes i believe that children do see things that we dont........ maybe she did have that conversation and maybe they were tears running down your screen........ we will never know. Those things are so private and only the 'honoured/special' ones get to see them.

As for the bear ....... ummmm is there a special place that she could place it ?

Hope the weather clears up a bit for you..... its been very icy and cold here today  -1 this morning when my son came in.
Stay warm
Hugs Jayne

Anonymous said...

What a cutie Bug is...and I think children do have that "sense," but I think they just have a closer link to God, somehow...you know?
~Meg

Anonymous said...

What a cutie!!! :)

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Anonymous said...

I don't know how people could take your comment about the candle adversely.  Maybe I'm different...I only took it as a comment and a thank you for not forgetting.  

Be Careful driving on that freezing rain,  Bethe

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Anonymous said...

Hi Donna,

I loved your video, she's absolutely adorable!  I'm sure anytime you get to spend time with her, your day is brightened.  Sorry you're missing your sister so much, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through.  Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Take Care,
~Bilinda~

Anonymous said...

Love all the new graphics...glad that you did not lose your power...we got some of the storm too...will be getting some snow here tomorrow...so glad I didn't lose my power as well...Something to be thankful for!  Hugs,TerryAnn

Anonymous said...

Bug is just precious!
Her asking how her Aunt would come down here from heaven...brought tears to my eyes...so young, so innocent..and as she said "she will be here for christmas"....I know in my heart she will be there with you in spirit....watching over each and every one of you...

Big Hugs
 Terri

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