Tuesday, January 31, 2006

What a day!!


Today was a crazy day, brought on by myself, but crazy just the same.  Several weeks back I got notice about renewing the registration on my car.  Well, it was near the holidays and there was so much going on I just put it aside.  Yeap, you guessed it.  I remembered over the weekend but it was to late to do it online or over the phone so I had to make a trip to the DMV.  Fun wow!  I also had an appointment to have my car inspected and my taxes done.  So I left work early and arrived at the DMV about 3:10.  I finally arrived home about 7:45.  Argh!!   

The DMV wasn't too bad.  I was pretty much in and out of there.  My car inspection was ok, but this new computer hook up is the pits!  If the system is down, you wait.  And that I did.  I got to my tax appointment with no time to spare.  Well, no time to spare for the given time.  I waited there too, hurry up to wait.  We went through mine first, and my son met me there in time to do his.  It really wasn't bad this year, but I will be taking a collection up to pay the tax man next year.  :)~  Because he does not live with me, nor is he going to school any longer I lose that write off.  I will get into work tomorrow and change my withholdings first thing.  We did my taxes without the credits to see what it would be and OUCH!!  I would need a collection.  In the meantime, I made out ok, and he got stuck paying on state.  LOL  That is his own fault.  I told him last year to change his withholdings so they take more and he didn't listen.  How much you want to bet he fixes it now?    

All in all it was a busy day, but a productive one.  I got tons accomplished and even got to see the end of the boys game.  They beat Atlanta 5-2 ::grin:: so they went 4-2 on the longest road trip of the year.   

Now, anyone wanting to give to the collection, let me know LOL   

Monday, January 30, 2006

Different moods..........






Busy... and inspired...


Today was good at work, it flew by.  I was a bit tired this morning after my late dinner last night, but I got my second wind on the way home.  I did a few things around the house and then something inspired me to get on another tear with graphics.  Some simple, some not.  I think I did about 6 tonight.  I will be saving a few for entries down the road, can't put them all up for you before I use them ::grin::  I know you'll understand.

Sunday, January 29, 2006



My son did find his spare keys.  He had moved them from the 'place' and when he moved out he moved them again and took them with him.  He obviously forgot that 'move' and thought they were still here.  He come home on his break from work and went through the same places I did.  I guess he thinks I am blind or that I don't know what keys look like.  After rummaging through things, he left and he stopped at his place, of course leaving me to pick up the mess.  Sure enough the keys were right were I had suggested he look.  He didn't bother to call and let me know the news, so I spent the early part of the evening not knowing if we were actually going to do dinner.  I figured after some time past he had either found them or was able to get in his car.  If he hadn't, surely he would have called me.  I was comfy with the idea of him getting into his car but had no idea about dinner.  He finally called about 8 and we were still on.   

He picked me up about 9:30 and off to Applebee's we went.  He had gotten a coupon from work at Christmas and he wanted to use that.  Dinner was good, although I really snacked.  He ate and even ate some of mine.  No problem there, at that time I didn't want to eat a big meal.  He even had dessert, something he generally doesn't do.  It was great sitting with him and chatting.  Seeing him smile and laughing as we mocked folks, both family members and the other patrons.  I really do miss him.  Or, maybe it's I miss our private time.  Either way it was good and I think we need to plan that more often.  Out, just the two of us. 

Dinner Date.......


::giggle:: and from the looks of the graphic I bet you all thought how sweet, a nice romantic dinner.  Well, no it won't be romantic.  Nice most definitely.  My son called me earlier in the week to see if I'd like to go to dinner with him tonight when he is done with work.  It will be a late dinner and may be just a snack for me as I am not sure I can wait until almost 10 to eat.  My tummy will be screaming long before then, but it is the thought that counts.   

Now, as I was doing this entry a little havoc occurred and plans may change.  Apparently he locked his keys in his car at work.  He, or course, moved his spare set from the 'place' and now has no idea where they are.  Surely during his move out of the house he packed them up, but right now it is not helping him.  He flew in here, made a mess and left.  Typical 19 year old.  I told him to call the police and his response, 'they won't do it unless the car is running or there is a child in the car.'  I am surely rethinking the AAA I was going to get him for Christmas.  Hopefully he will get this solved before it gets dark.  This on a Sunday when nothing is open!!  ::sigh:: Kids! 

So much for that..........



Too good to be true.  The rain started and it's raining pretty hard.  In a way it is good as it will wash away the slop and salt from the last little snowfall.  Cars are driving by and you can hear the splash of their tires as they hit the puddles.  Sunday becomes Sunday as people come and go.  Doors open and close.  Car doors slam, machines can be heard in the neighbors garage.  I'd much rather have it be a nice summer rain, but it's not to be.  Though it is in the 40's there is that damp chill in the air and the dreariness makes me want to go back to bed and nap. 

Peaceful Morning


It's such a peaceful morning here.  I woke early and am enjoying the quiet.  The only sound to be heard is the gentle humm of my computer and the click click on the keyboard as I type.  The whole town must still be sleeping as I don't even hear cars pass by my house.  What am I doing up?  I should be back in bed, but instead I thought I'd share this peaceful graphic. Signs of time to come :)

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Beautiful Art -AC


Thought this was a beautiful piece of art.  The colors are absolutely wonderful.  I thought the moving water added so much.   

Last one for tonight.  I fear those who have me on alerts will have a headache. :) 

Outdoor scene



This was a graphic that was sent to me, and I felt it was so pretty but needed a bit of something.  LOL  So I added snow.  I guess this will be my tribute to the anniversary of the Blizzard of '77 which hit 29 years ago today.  This is definitely much nicer.

More alerts... LOL


This was actually a picture I had but not sure where I got it.  There was no artists name so I can't give credit.  I actually tubed it (took off background) and added my own along with the animation.  I will tell you, taking background off can be a time consuming thing.  You can see some of my rough edges, but I feel it is an ok job. 



I got a kick out of this one and had to make it flash.  The mouse tongue didn't come out exactly as I wanted but it will do.  Thought it was cute. 


I had to make the original a bit larger so I could work with it, and the grainy effect was part of the deal.  I laughed at this one because this is something you won't see me do!  LOL  

But taking a break now as I do have to get moving on my laundry.  I can't believe how many I have that have not been used yet.  I will do more later.  

Sorry to those who are on alerts.. forgive me?



I love wolves (know others do to) and wanted to see if I could take a plain picture and make it look as though there was water and have it reflect.  Not sure I am 100% happy with the results, but wanted to share it anyway.



I know there are so many out there that love lighthouses, as do I so here is another one.  I will continue to work on the wave effect to see if I can them to roll or splash.  It's not as easy as it sounds. 

Relaxing night.......


Just something I tried.  I wanted to get a subtle animation on the liquid in the glass and that's it.  I played with it awhile and now I think it's subtle, but enough movement to see it.  The thought I had about this graphic was just something relaxing.  I think it works, but maybe I am bias.  LOL

Sniffing around....


.... for graphics.   

As promised I will post some of my animations today.  There will be a wide range.. some cute.. some scenery.. some just different.  There may be some of adult content as well.  I hope you will enjoy viewing them as much as I did making them.

Double........ trouble?


I know I've made comments over the past several weeks how weird our weather has been.  Yesterday it was about 11 degrees and today it is close to 50, but windy.  I had some things to do around the house, but was craving for the sunlight.  As I opened my curtains, I saw bikes go by my house.  It made me smile to see the kids outside thinking it was spring.  We haven't had much snow and all that is left are the small piles that remain in the shade for the entire day.  The last bike to go by had two kids on one.  I frowned a bit as it brought back memories of riding double.  Today kids don't ride double by sitting on the back of a banana seat, or on a book rack over the back tire.  They stand on pegs that are on the back wheel.  Something created originally for the BMX riders.  

I always had a rule for my son.  No riding double!  I experienced the danger of this first hand years ago.  I really don't remember how old I was, maybe 7 or 8.  I had gotten a great bike the year before for my birthday.  It was hip and fit right in with the times.  A nice banana seat and pretty streamers off the handle bars.  I made one mistake and left it out overnight and it got stolen.  It was found the next day in a tree down the street.  Apparently older kids decided to take it for a joy ride.  Well, it was ruined and I was devastated.  A lesson learned!  

Our neighbor at the time felt bad for me and pretty much garbage picked old bikes and created me a new one.  It even had my nameplate on it.  It wasn't as 'hip' as the first one, it was much bigger and had a bike rack over the back tire.  It was shiny blue and would do the trick.   

All the kids were out playing and I was enjoying the bike.  I don't remember all the details but somehow it ended my sister was driving and I was on the book rack on the back.  We had stopped to chat with neighbor kids and I decided to get off at the same time she decided to go.  I put my foot on the support for the tire to swing my other leg over the tire and all of sudden there was a pinch.  It didn't hurt, I didn't really cry.  My sister and I went home and down into the basement.  I had powder blue socks on and when we lifted my pant leg the blue was completely red.  That is when I cried, my sister tried to talk me into not telling but I would have none of it.  I ran upstairs yelling for my mother.  She promptly put me in the tub to rinse my foot off.  I had a nice flap hanging off my heal.  Much further and it would have been gone.  She cleaned it out and wrapped it in a towel.  I sat in a kitchen chair waiting for her and my dad to get ready to take me to the emergency room.  I don't know where my sister went, but I know my older brother sat there telling me they couldn't fix it, they'd have to cut my foot off.   

We got to the emergency room and I asked if my mother could stay in the room with me as they fixed me up.  I was laying on my belly holding my mothers hand as they cleaned me up and gave me a shot.  I felt the pinch of the needle but don't recall if I felt each stitch.  When all was said and done they let me roll over and sit up.  To my surprise it wasn't my mother holding my hand but a nurse.  In those days parents weren't allowed to stay in the room.  I had 36 stitches and a huge bandage wrapped around my foot.   

Home we went and I had to stay off it for a few days but then when I was able to walk I had to wear my dads slipper.  Nothing would fit over the bandage.  Several weeks went by and I got to go to the Drs. to have the stitches removed.  We were a one car family in that day so my older sister walked with me to the office.  It wasn't even a mile away.  I got in the room and the doctor started his procedure of removing stitch after stitch.  My sister, the now X-ray tech, hid behind the door so she didn't have to see.  The walk home was fun, I had a sneaker on and my dad's slipper.  I couldn't lift my foot or it would fall off so there I am dragging my foot behind me.  My sister of course aggravated as it was taking so long and she had things to do.  

So riding double may look cute, but I still frown upon it.  To this day I have issues with shoes rubbing on my scar.

Friday, January 27, 2006




No, no, not my computer, not my antivirus program, not my AOL.  Me!  I got home from work today and after a wonderful pork dinner I just crashed.  I had a headache and I was exhausted.  Thank gawd it's Friday.  I was going to lay on the new couch but wanted dark and quiet so I crawled in bed.  It was warm and toasty and I think I was out cold the minute my head hit the pillow.  I probably slept for a good hour and a half.  Not sure what woke me up but when I crawled out of bed my headache was a gentle roar.  I thought about going back to bed for the night but knew I'd be up at like 2 am and wide awake ready to go. I actually watched a little TV tonight and then played with a few graphics.  I have been a tear lately and there is no way I can come up with entries for everything I made.  I might have to post some just to post.  It's great fun making them, but what good are they if they sit on my hard drive and the only one that sees them is my sister.  LOL  She probably has lost about 10 pounds getting up and looking.  'Hey, how does this look?'  'Is this too fast?' She has to get up as she can't see the monitor with the glare and the angle she is at.  Hmmm.. maybe it's time to do something with a picture of her!  LOL  NOT!  She'd kill me, and probably see that just fine.  

I'll post some graphics tomorrow.  I am going back to bed.  I will be getting up early and getting a few things done and my afternoon should be good to just play around.  

'night all

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Chocolate Anyone?



ROFLMAO!!!  Someone was looking for chocolate the other night.  Lame animation, but had to put it up.  :)~

Just Hanging Around.....



A blah day today.  Not much into writing tonight.  Lots happened with little results.  Or good results anyway.  After work I went grocery shopping and had a quick dinner.  The rest of the evening I just hung around.  Watched my boys play their rivals from Toronto.  For a bit I thought they were going to blow the game after the 4-1 lead was reduced to 4-3.  They did wake up and ended up winning 8-4.   

Thought these graphics fit nicely LMAO!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

One extreme to the next........


I figured since my emotions went from one extreme to another I'd make my graphics do the same :)  A dark snowy winter night to a beautiful summer day by a small creek.
I think I like this emotion better.  LOL

Now you see it........


Thanks to everyone for the wonderful comments, concerns, and words of support. I appreciate all of them!  Some of the tips I knew about, some I had tried prior to going to tech support.  Some were new to me, but I did not save them in my PFC.  I don't think I will be putting anything there for a very long time.  If I need it, I will copy and paste into a word document or something.  One thing I did suggest to AOL is that they let people know with maybe a warning before it gets to late.  Would that make sense to anyone else out there?  You know, like when you pump gas and it shuts off as it gets to full and you have to gingerly add more to top it off?   

I do also thank everyone who emailed me links.  I was going through mail today and quickly clicked on links to fill my bare favorites up.  I was plugging away and got to maybe the 10th-15th link and went to plop into favorites and guess what?  All my favorites where there.  Now you see it, now you don't, now you see it again.  All of it. Let me tell you not only do I have my favorites but I have ones that I deleted years ago.  Unbelievable!  My lucky day!   

Actually I heard from a good, trusted friend that apparently AOL was having issues with the links/URLs in favorites.  They tried to get to something and the page wouldn't load and when they went into edit mode it had the completely wrong URL and they hadn't changed it.  It appears to be back to normal now.  I wonder though, anyone else got favorites back that they know the removed?  

I will be spending time over the next few days clicking on each link in my favorites and seeing what works, what I need and cleaning out the riff raff.  Not that favorites caused the issue, but there are so many there and I bet half that I haven't touched in years.  LOL  and yes now even some I deleted years ago.   

Again, my lucky day.  Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket or two :)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

It's back..........


The snow that is.  Usually by this point of January we have gotten over 18 inches of snow.  This year, less then 5 inches thus far.  ::knocking on wood:: so a mild one it has been.  The temperature is not bad but the snow has been falling off and on since about 4.  It looks like fine snow, but actually it is extremely wet and sloppy.  Great to make snowmen if there was enough, but horrible to drive in.  I saw 3 cars off the road on my way home from work.  Surely, it was someone who was going to fast and had total disregard for anything.  One, I am sure, thought their 4 wheel drive truck was going to keep them safe and on the road.  Wrong!  

I decided on this graphic because I liked it when I did it and two it really fits the mood.  Alone and searching.  Ok, so that is a bit drastic, but damn close.  I was online after work minding my own business reading mail.  I had a ton, and went as usual one by one.  I got a call and talked on the phone for a few minutes.  When I came back to my computer my mailbox was open but all I saw was envelope after envelope.  I saw no title, no from who, nothing.  I IMed someone on line and it apparently was not AOL but me.  So I logged off and shut down.  I rebooted without incident but when I went to open AOL I got an error about a file and that AOL would try to restore it.  I said ok and things seemed to be fine.  I logged on and opened mail. ARGH!!!  Nothing changed.  I went to AOL online tech support and actually got an answer rather quickly.  No run around like the other night with you know who.  :)  I logged off, shut down AOL as instructed and followed the directions.  I opened AOL and bam, same error, same process, same deserted mailbox.  I went back to live tech support and rather quickly got another tech.  Does no one use this service?  No wait time at all!  So I get a new tech and she proceeds to ask what my PFC looks like.  Hmmm.. there is stuff there but I didn'tthink it was too bad.  Some of the items did have graphics though.  She said it was probably to full and something was corrupted on this username.  Only solution was to uninstall and reinstall.  Though I hate doing that, it was the only way, she did say everything had to go.  So I uninstall and reinstall.  Yeah!  I got a normal mailbox.  Stuff saved in PFC is gone.  No big deal I will live.  I go through my mail, and fix my settings.  I open my favorites.  OMG!!  Nothing, zilch, empty.  Notta one.  Not even the AOL preset favorites, now that isn't a bad thing LOL  Ten years of accumulated favorites gone in a matter of minutes.  Hundreds I would guess.  Sure I hadn't visited some in years, some were probably dead, and it did need to be cleaned out.  But, yikes, all my graphic sites, all my tutorial sites, all my directions.  Gone.. poof... kazam...  Most of the tutorial sites I didn't use any longer, but sometimes I needed a refresher on how to... I will soon know how many brain cells are gone because when I need it I will have to go by memory.  OMG!  That is funny.  I am in my 40's, ok mid 40's and I have the ever dreaded CRS decease.  Can't Remember Shit!  Why do you think I had so many favorites in the first place?  So I sat and looked at the empty favorites and thought damn I had some good graphic sites there.  I did a little search to see if I could find the ones I had, and nope didn't happen.  I found new ones, and they have some good tubes, but they aren't 'mine.'  Hence, the alone and searching comment.     

All my favorite journals, gone.  Some I have on alerts so I can save them as posts are made, but I had to cut back there as I was coming home to 200-300 pieces of mail a day.  I fear some I won't find again :(  For those of you that forgot, I have CRS.  So, leave a link to journal as you comment and if you don't see me in a little bit feel free to email me the link.  It just means my reinstall zapped you, not me.  

I will be fine, the world is not ending, I will continue to do graphics and animation.  I will continue to find journals.  I will just start over.  I may evenfind bigger and better who knows.  I will just ask, if you have PSP tube sites or a journal can you email me the link?  I need to fill up my favorites again, I feel naked! 

Monday, January 23, 2006

Monday, Monday...


Not much going on here.  Kind of a boring Monday.  I went into work a bit late as I needed to take care of some personal errands and that made the day fly by.  Of course I worked on some more graphics.  This one I actually did a couple of days ago. 

I want to clarify some things regarding the graphics I animate.  Some are graphics that I put together and then animate.  Some are preexisting graphics I found or got via email that I animated only, but did not actually put the pictures together.  Some are actual prints that I animate, but I did not draw and/or paint them.  I appreciate all the kind words and compliments but please know I haven't always created everything on/in the graphic from scratch, the credit goes elsewhere.  When using PSP you can find 'tubes' or graphics in many areas and I use a lot of these.  Sometimes I find pictures and tube them myself to use.  Some are easy to alter or change others are not.  Requests to change color is not an easy task in most cases.  Requests to add additional items can be done on occasion but more often then not it is very difficult due to sizing and color scheme.  I will attempt to help you in anyway I can but an artist I am not.  :)    

Again, I do appreciate all the comments and appreciation for what I do.  I love doing it and I love sharing it more.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Someone asked.......


I was asked about animated dogs, but I cannot remember who asked.  I am so sorry.  I get a few requests on each journal and this one just slipped through.  I did do this one yesterday while the cable was out and figured I would post it here.  Hopefully the person looking for it will find it :)

Winners and picks............ SUPER BOWL XL

Congrats to the winners!

Seattle 34               Carolina 14

Pittsburgh 34          Denver 17  

Seattle and Pittsburgh have been invited to the 'big dance' in Detroit Feb 5. Leave your picks here in the comment section :)  Even if you're not in the running for the most wins leave a pick anyway, it's been fun!  LOL  

Totals so far gives us a tie with the most wins.  Congrats Bill & Phinney!!!  

Bill              7

Phinney       7

Donna         6

Sam            6

Lori            6

Kathy          6

Linda          5

Mike           5

Jeannette   5  

I will come back and leave a comment for my pick later in the week :)~   

You never know.........


..... who is going to sneak up on you and what your reaction will be.  I was looking forward to 2 good football games today and they weren't good at all!  Sure if your team won it was 'good,' but the games themselves were horrible.  Two blow outs! 
These guys play a life time for this opportunity, so I do not buy 'they didn't want it bad enough.'  There is more to it than that.  Not prepared, not able to make the correct adjustments, out coached maybe, but not that they didn't want it bad enough. 
We all react to situations and when something sneaks up on us we react differently.  Today Denver and Carolina appeared to cover their eyes, put their heads down, and grimace in pain.  Congrats goes out to the 'Stillers' and Seahawks for an invite to the big dance.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

A couple graphics.......





Just thought I'd share these.  The campfire is another graphic that I had and found today during my 'clean up' so I worked on it while the cable was out.  The 'tree book' was sent out tonight from a group I'm in and I wasted no time, and I didn't want to have it be 'sucked in' to my many folders only to be found in months.  I just loved it!!  LOL

Officiating.... you have to laugh!


After last weeks games in the NFL, there was so much media attention to the calls made by the officials.  Either the missed calls or the blown calls.  Some of the calls were even reviewed and they were still blown calls.   

Well, here is a good one for you.  I am watching my boys play and the score is tied 1-1.  The play is in front of the Buffalo goal and Regehr (from Calgary) kicks the puck into the net.  An illegal play.  Buffalo calls for a review, to no avail.  Unlike football there is no red flag that can be thrown on the ice to challenge the call.  They call it a goal, and play resumes.  Within minutes the league announces that the goal should not have counted and a call is made to the GM of the Buffalo team apologizing.  Did they take the goal away?  No. No knads!  Sure I could stay angry, but all one can do is laugh.   

Now one might argue this is not a play-off game, and they are right it is not.  But let us not forget '99.

Well rested........


I got home from work last night and by 8:30 I was ready for bed.  I had some running to do after work and it was a very very long day.  So, by 9 I was in bed.  That is just way out of character for me.  LOL  Midnight is usually the average. With going to bed I was up by 6, so I got my coffee and got on line to catch up on mail.  By 8 the cable was out and since I am connected via cable that was the end of the Internet. 

Didn't stop me.  I created several new animations and sorted through all the graphics I've collected to work on/with.  I had a folder with everything in it.  I mean everything!  Flowers, cartoons, animals, kids, adult content, scenery.  I knew I had downloaded it, but damn if I could find it.  So, as I drank my coffee I worked through folder and have things broken down in categories or somewhat.  I should be able to find them anyway.  LOL    Like this graphic.  I saw it and wanted it, but lost track of it.  I wanted to try and make it look kind of stormy.  Not your everyday pretty snow.  I wanted to see if I could get her cloak to blow a bit in the wind.  So in between loads of laundry I worked on it.  The cloak was a bit tough so I only did one side, but I think I accomplished what I was looking for.  I also did a few graphics for my tag journal and will post soon.  I hate posting a bunch at one time because that just gives me more work to do if I get a good response for folks wanting their name on it.  I love doing it, don't get me wrong.  I'm just a bit funny as I want to create 'new' and not spend all my time on 'old,' so I break it up a bit.   

Obviously the cable is back on and a good thing.  The boys are playing in Calgary tonight and I wanted to watch it, to say nothing about being able to keep up with mail.  Hope everyone is having a productive day.

Thursday, January 19, 2006



We've all seen the funny joke emails about customer service calls.  You know the ones, my cup holder on my computer is broken. My monitor won't work, yes it is plugged in, but I have no power and the window is on the other side of the room and it is too dark in here to see if it came lose.  We've all also heard the horror stories about calling in for tech support and getting someone who doesn't speak English etc.  

Today was my turn.  Argh!!!  I turned on my computer and McAfee started looking for updates.  It looked and looked and then stopped and showed me a blank window that soon turned to 'page cannot be displayed.'  I shut down rebooted and tried again.  Same thing.  I went to their site, logged in as a registered user, and had them check my system.  No issues were detected but I still could not get any updates.  I went to their live support and waited 15 minutes for a chat.  The rep asks how he can help and I start by asking if they are having issues.  No response so I proceed to tell the issues I am having.  He responds asking me for my registration information so he can verify.  Hello??? I had to log in!!!???   So I give it to him.  He comes back and asks about the error message I am getting.  I again go over the process of what I experienced.  He then tries to confirm and gets it wrong so I repeat it.  He asks about my Internet settings and pop up blockers.  I ask what that has to do with it as I have not changed the settings in the 9 months that I've been running it.  He proceeds to tell me I have to have the settings this way in order for the updates to work.  I again say the settings haven't changed since I've been running the program and is this something new?  He tells me no.  So again, I tell him I've never had the problem in over 9 months and did he inquire if they themselves are having issues.  It takes a second and then he replies telling me yes they are having issues.  WTF?!  Fifteen minutes waiting to talk to him, twenty minutes of nonsense conversation when he simply could have answered the question off the bat.  Instead, we went round and round and some other poor soul was probably waiting the twenty minutes to ask the same freakin question!  It's no wonder my eyes are rolling in my head!!  What a waste of time................

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Gone fishing


Gone fishing? ....... not exactly.  I had a nice conversation with a very good friend who helped me find the strength to look deep in my heart and soul and respond to the letter. I wasn't fishing for answers, and to be very honest I probably won't hear back.  If it was so easy to turn their back and walk away before, this should be a breeze. I did not say not to contact me again, maybe I should have, but it is not me.  I don't have that in me, even with all that has happened it's not my nature.  I didn't ask questions as I really am not interested in the answers.  The trust was gone long ago. I was firm in my stating that I was not in a position to forgive such careless disregard for my feelings and I wasn't sure I ever would be.  I said I hope the contact after all this time had cleared their conscious and I wished nothing but good things and happiness.   

So there you have it, I did write back and again that book has been closed and put back on the shelf.  I can't and won't forget the story, but there is no need for it to be an open book on the end table.   

Again, thanks for all the words of encouragement and kindness.  I appreciate it. Hugs!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006



Thanks to everyone for the wonderful comments and great support.  I know no one can give me direction, but it was so nice to read all the opinions, thoughts, and words of encouragement.  In my short time in J-Land I've come to appreciate the closeness here more each day.  I see the love and support on all the journals I visit and I am amazed at the caring that flows.  It's a wonderful place, whether there are ads or not.  No, I don't like the ads, but I do like the places I go and that is the reason I'm there.  AOL putting the ads up is not going to change my feelings or interest in what others have to say.  

I've been trying to find a place soothing and tranquil to just think things through.  I've made no decisions and the mail is just sitting in my inbox.  It is a relationship that spanned along time with a lot of different levels and feelings involved.  It is not as easy as just replying or not and I've decided to just let things sink in and whirl around and then go with my gut feeling.   

Obviously when I say find a place, I don't necessarily mean a physical place.  I am looking for a mental place as well.  Around my house it is never tranquil!  People in and out, TV on, phone ringing, you name it and it happens.  I need to find a place deep within me that leaves me comfortable with the decisions I make.  Things will never go back to the way they were.  I've moved so far forward and grown so much in the years that have passed.  I like the person I am and can't see myself just ignoring the note.  With that said, I can't find the words that fit what I want to say.  So wait it out is the choice for now.  I will keep you posted, but don't expect some hot love story to come out of all this, that decision was made years ago.  I've come to terms with it and moved on, I won't go back.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Totally unexpected... confusion?


I was in total awe today.  I have been getting tons of mail lately because of the graphics I use for my animations and tags.  It's nice, but on occasion it can get overwhelming.  Today I had an interesting note mixed in with all my mail.  It's a good thing I go through one by one and not randomly just delete.  I could have missed this one.  

That leads me to wonder if I'd have been better off just deleting without reading.  To be honest, when I opened the note I wasn't familiar with the username.  The first 3 words told me who it was, and for a few seconds I hesitated reading on.  I hadn't heard from this person in years.  They virtually fell off the planet and disappeared.  This after years of close friendship and bonds.  A closeness like this that only comes your way a few times.  Secrets told, memories made, and poof not even so much as an explanation.  Just gone.  I was devastated when it happened and hurt beyond belief.  After time I got angry, really angry.  Then more time and I just let it go.  I have to much going for me to worry about it.  I deserved better and if they failed to see it, so be it.   

So today, out of the blue, and years later I get a letter.  A long letter.  It started out almost as though nothing happened, but as I got into it I also got an update and the what's and whys.  Some things I took as excuses, and lousy ones at that.  Others, heart felt apologies.  It left me a bit confused and wondering if I should even respond.  I don't want to be mean, but then why not?  After all this time now you care?  Now you want to know how I am?  What I've been up to?  I don't know that I want to go there, even bother.  So much has changed.  So much has filled me in those years.  I don't even know if I can trust again.  Why now?   

<FONTFACE="COMIC size="2" MS? Sans>A slight rant I know, but I needed to get some of it off my chest.  I need some calming vibes after such and unexpected confusion.......

Winners........ and Next weeks picks :)


We are down to the Conference Championship games next week.  I have to say I was a bit surprised by the outcome of today's games.  I didn't think Pittsburgh had a chance against Indy, and in the final minutes they almost saw it slip away but they did come away with a win to move on.  Chicago?  What happened there?  Carolina looked like a force to be reckoned with.  I for one did not give them enough credit I guess.  My picks are all messed up because I really thought it would be Indy and Seattle in the big dance.  I think Pittsburgh is hot and played convincing today and can beat Denver.  I also think Carolina can beat Seattle now, go figure.   

Seattle   20     Washington    10

Denver   27      New England 13

Pitts       21      Indy              18

Carolina 29      Chicago         21  

We have a new leader as well.  Hey Bill, it's a good thing I took your original picks, eh? LOL  Sorry Sam you've been dethroned, for the time being anyway.  We have a bunch at the top, but there are still so many more in it.   


Bill              6

Sam             5

Phinney        5

Lew             5

Linda           5

Donna          5

Poochie        4

Mike            4

Lori             4

Kathy           4  

Put next weeks picks in the comment section and we'll see how it shakes out.  Good Luck!

Pittsburgh @ Denver

Carolina @ Seattle  

My picks 



Saturday, January 14, 2006

And.. the snows came

The cold weather came back and we had a little snow today.  They called for much more than we actually got, but that's ok by me.  We've been lucky this winter!  It is in the teens now but will get back to the 50's next week.  I will take it so long as it stays!  I am tired of the crud!  I figured since the snow already came I could post this one :)  

Today was a lazy day.  Very lazy!!  I think I still have some after effects of being sick earlier in the week and I was just tired.  Or was it lazy?  Either way I didn't do much.  Sat on my arse from early evening to just recently watching sports.  Yeap, you heard me right.  I started with the early football game between Seattle and Washington.  Seattle won 20-10.  For the second game we had a conflict.  My boys were on and I really wanted to watch.  We have so many injuries we had several young guns from the minors up and I was curious how they'd do.  Some I had not seen play before.  In the first 5 minutes we had a 3-0 lead and my nephews wanted football.  So we played remote tag.  LOL Boys ended up winning 10-1... Wow!  It was such a blow out :)  I actually gave in pretty much and watched football.  I am not trying to be mean, but I am so glad Denver won!  I've heard enough about the Pat's and Bruschi to last a lifetime.  More football tomorrow and you can bet I will watch. 

Valentine treats.........

No, I didn't forget and I realize it is a month away, but figured I would get a jump in it.  LOL  So here are few that I did recently.  Sorry no chocolate :)~


                     doggyheart.gif                                 heartsoar.gif                   










More play off games this weekend.  If you haven't made your picks yet, do so at Next Weeks Picks and I will keep track of how everyone did and post it.  For those of you that already played thanks!  I got a wide range of choices and look forward to seeing how everyone does :)   So far Sam at Dock Lines... is in the lead, can anyone catch him?  

Get your picks in before the games start............



Some of you may know Dianna from over at Dianna's Mindless Musings.  She has some wonderful poems she has written and is always a good read!!  

Well, she will soon be making all her own graphics, I can tell!  She has been working in PSP for a short time and recently sent me this name tag.  I absolutely love it and can see her talent already.  It won't be long and she will be using animation and showing me up!  I think she is addicted!  

I just had to share the graphic she made for me (she has made a few) and say thank you!  Dianna it is awesome and I truly love it!  Hugs to you girlfriend!

Friday, January 13, 2006

Changes in store...........


Well, the weather is going to be changing this weekend.  I guess winter has decided to make an appearance.  Currently it is still in the 50's, which is extremely warm here for this time of year, to say nothing about this time of night.  It's been pretty warm all week, but the weatherman is telling us we are in for a change.  It's supposed to drop to the teens tomorrow and snow is expected.  I was going to do a snow graphic, but we all know how I get blamed so I decided I'd do this one and enjoy the weather for one more night.  LOL  

Kicker is... it is supposed to be cold for the weekend and then warm back up to the 50s next week.  Go figure!?!  No wonder we all have the crud!   I just hope I don't have a relapse.  Besides being tired, I do feel pretty good.


We are still waiting for the phone to ring at my house.  My son was told about a week and a half ago the job was his if he passed a background check, a drug test, and a physical.  He went in last Wednesday and saw a nurse who checked vitals, eyes, ears, and as he said 'scalped him' for the drug test.  He went in this past Monday and saw the Dr. I guess we both figured he would have a little more information at this point, but he really didn't.  His remarks about what happened was the Dr. said 'turn your head and cough.'  When he was done the Dr. said they would call him to set up his 'fit test.'  I was a bit worried at first because every other follow up was scheduled right then and there.  Before I could express any concern, he went on to say that the guy that does this portion is contracted and only goes to the plant 2 times a month.  Apparently the equipment is all right there at the plant so they do the test there.  On Tuesday the company called and left a message for him on the answering machine.  He called back and they wanted additional information regarding his business references, which he gave.  Now it is back to waiting for the 'fit test.'    

I have to think at this point he has passed everything and they are just waiting for this guy to come to the plant.  It's been well over a week since they 'scalped' him, how long do you suppose that test takes?  Maybe they don't have this guys schedule yet.  Maybe they are hiring a few people and they will get several in at one time for the test.  I can't figure it out.  All this for a job.  I mean, sure the money is great and it will be such a great career for him, but it's been over a month since the process started.  Good things come to those who wait?   

And here we sit waiting on the phone to ring...............

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

And on the flip side...


I thought with all the comments of feeling ill and crappie weather we could all use some nice scenery :) 

Outdoor gear!

My new outfit to wear tomorrow as I hear the weather will be the same.  I think I will look just ducky, what do you think?