Off to Florida

Well, it's off to Florida on Thursday night.  My son and his buddy will be flying out and staying with his grandmother.  They will be home on Sunday morning.  What an exciting trip for the two of them, even it is for just the weekend.  A good friend of mine happened by my journal and I could not get over the words he spoke (wrote) via email. I did of course ask his permission to use his words here, but am jumping the gun a bit as I don't expect a reply for a bit.  I know he won't mind :) He travels a bit with his job and doesn't always have the time to spend on the Internet.  It's a shame to as he has such a way with words.

Or perhaps it's one of those opportunities that falls together in front of you and you can't say no. Either way, travel at his age is a Right Of Passage of sort. He is in between the age of you raising him, and the time when he will have to be self sufficient. Trust me it's a great step, even just as a weekend adventure. It's like learning to swim. Remember the feeling you had when you first got the nerve to actually paddle and splash your arms erratically a few feet into the "deep end"? You know, where your toes, for the first time, were no longer clinging to that muddy river bottom that gave a sense of security. Even if only for a few seconds, it's a new beginning.  "by RH"  

I read those words and thought how true they are.  I remember so many of the steps we've taken.  Starting with the day I went into labor.  I remember being such a baby and asking the Dr.  "please, just do a C-Section."  My Dr. held nothing back, "this is not a Denny's you don't come in and order."  I laugh now, I even laughed shortly after I had him.  The pain wasn't so bad, I just wanted it over.  I've seen so many girls with broken blood vessels from pushing, sore for weeks.  I on the other hand was up and moving within an hour.  Ha!  My Dr. laughed at me so often during those times.  

I've been divorced for so many years and almost his entire life has been with just me.  The two of us moving forward, going through rough times, and we always came out on top.  In a lot of ways he has helped me to be strong and make things work.  Being Mom and Dad, and he always accepted it and never once complained.  Maybe it's because I was willing to hop that 8 foot fence to get his 99 cent ball that went over.  It didn't matter that as I landed I heard the pop, I pushed my lips tightly shut so not to use the words I wanted too.  I climbed back over and gave him his ball.  He hugged me and was thrilled.  A few hours later I was on the phone, "Cindy, can you come over and watch him I need to go to the emergency room.  My knee is the size of a basketball."  It wasn't, of course, but it might have well been.  My other friend drove me and I used one of his toys as a make shift crutch so I could get around.  Oh yeah, surgery on my knee?  GREAT!  Actually, only had to wear a brace that went from my ankle to about my hip for a month.  You know the kind of injury where the Dr. says "you'd have been better off had you.........."  

First day at kindergarten, after he got on the bus I got in my car and followed.  He didn't know, not then anyway.  The first day of school became "yeah day" before long.  All my sisters would take off from work, after the kids got on the bus we'd go to lunch and celebrate.  There were many times that we got home just in time to get the kids off the bus.  YEAH DAY!!  Hell he was in high school and asked, "You aren't taking off for the first day of school?"  I looked at him with eyes the size of saucers, "you want me to?"  His reply was, "it's tradition Mom."  So I took the day off.  The day came, and he actually wanted me to come outside.  I was shocked, that was until he made me sit on the porch which was across the street and behind parked cars.  The punk!  He was the only kid at the bus stop and wanted 'blind company.'  I will never forget his words, "Mom, don't let anyone see you!"  If you ask him, it never happened!  Needless to say that was the last time I took off for the first day of school!  My traditional yeah day adventures were over.   

Then his license and first car.  It was a couple summers ago.  I swear I went through the empty nest syndrome.  No longer was I needed to drive him to practices, to friends house, to work.  He went on his own and was never home!  He was quite the social butterfly.  I'd get home from work and the house was eerily quiet.  A note ready for me on the table, "Mom, went to..................., won't be home for dinner" Almost everyday it was something.  I started living on Campbell's soup, and it was summer!!  I couldn't bring myself to cook something for just me and surely I wasn't going to eat fast food!  My parents saw me more that summer than they had in years.  <grin> Stopping on the way home from work was perfect timing.  Hey, I was tired of soup! 

The emptiness stayed with me a long time.  It was the weirdest feeling, almost like I wasn't needed.  I know I was and still am, but it is another step and off to Florida he goes.  I think I will need a special blankie to comfort me while he is gone.  Hell NO, I will be going out!!  LOL