The theme for this month is:
I knew Judith was back with the 'Artsy Essay' because I saw Sam's entry over at Dockline's last month. The topic for that was good, but the timing was off. I knew I couldn't partake. This month when I saw the subject my head & heart went into a whirlwind. Not because I thought I could win, my writing is not good... not even close to the others who partake, but because it made me think about the events of this summer and how I tried to squeeze every last bit of life out of the sunshine this summer brought. Or was it just squeeze every bit of life? I haven't decided. This might get a bit deep for some, and family you may want to click that little red x up on the right. I do love you! LOL Ok so you all might want to click on the red x. This probably won't even be close to staying on the topic. Here goes...........
Most of you know my sister was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in March. Cancer is not new to my family, not even close. This is not about sympathy but about how I reacted. How I squeezed....... or how I am squeezing.
Summer months go by so fast. The sun rises in the East, sets in the West and everything in between seems to be fun and carefree. Taking everything for granted. This year I woke early to catch the sun coming up over the houses across the street. I wanted to see the faint glow turn into bright red, yellow, andoranges. The rays dancing off the roof tops, the leaves moving with the gentle breeze as their glossy coating was illuminated. Birds chirping, the smell of the dew as it evaporated into the air. Warmth making its way through the curtains. Life is so short.
Work has been work. I wished those days away, but not without noticing the smell of various colognes, voices and laughs. The bitter smell of ink as the printers and copiers had their cartridges changed. The sounds and tones of different phones ringing, people being paged. Foods being cooked in the microwave. Something I use to be able to block out. Not now. It all seems so important. Life is so short.
Rainy days did not go by without being noticed. I squeezed the sunshine and beauty out of each drop and sound. The patter as drops fell upon the garden and grass to serve as a drink. The glistening of those drops even though there was no sun. The smell of earth, nature, ozone. Fresh and clean. Large and small drops alike as they rolled off the petals of each flower, each leaf, each blade of grass. Even if it spoiled plans for the day, life is too short not to notice the sunshine hidden within. I squeezed it out. In my car, in my house, or at the lake. Grabbing each moment and holding it dear.
Spending time with loved ones, friends, and family. Making as many plans as possible. Sharing the day on the deck with a cold drink, rain or shine. Swimming and playing games. Boating in the calmness of the lake, long walks, short walks. Big meals or a quick bite. Hugs and kisses. Saying I love you. Sightseeing in the area even if I've seen things a million times before. Always something new, different, alive. Grabbing as many pictures as possible to keep the events forever alive. Some of you may have seen a bit of this transition in the collages I've done.
Tuesday's are dear to me. Rain or shine I squeeze what I can out of the day. Standing in line to buy that milkshake. The smell of vanilla as it is poured into the mixer. The smell of sugars, dough, and sweet fillings of the doughnuts. The rumble of the mixer as it stirs the ice cream into a thick frosty drink. The coldness on my hand as I take it out to the car. Most of all, the smile on my sisters face when I show up at her house with it. Her eyes dance and twinkle even though the day was rough. I would like to think that she lights up for me showing up as much as for the milkshake after a day of chemo. Either way. I light up. I feel her warmth, her strength, her courage. She, by God, is squeezing how can I not?
So, you see, it really isn't about sunshine or summer. It's about squeezing. Squeezing every second, minute, hour of every day. Late at night as the sun sets. The sky fills with yellow, blue, purple, and red. The crickets sing lullabies. Quietness falls as gently as the dew. The moon begins to shine and you realized you squeezed all you can out of the day and it's time for sleep so you can start squeezing again tomorrow. Life is so short.
Hugs
~d
74 comments:
Thanks for coming to my Journal-"Sharing God With The World" and saying those nice things. I really like the way you write---it is like a warm cup of hot chocolate next to a fire place. Very nice.
"if I could save time in a bottle....." Go ahead and squeeze dear! Down to the last drop. - Barbara
Yes, it is... too short. Carpe Diem... friend. You should win... this was fabulous.
be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/
I used my blog to remind people to appreciate their loved ones way back when cancer first hit my immediate family. I don't know if anyone listened, but I felt better doing it. Keep reminding them, Donna. ((((HUG))))
Russ
Beautifully written!!! I have watched you go about your summer with such glee and love of family and i have been so happy for you...memories are all we have sometimes at the end of our lives and making them is priceless.
Love,lisa
Donna, how I wish I were one of the judges--you would be the winner! No doubt I would be coming to the vote with a little bias. My brother, too, is dying with pancreatic cancer--only he didn't even have the option of chemo--yet he has lived six weeks past what the doctors projected. Much of it has been painful, and I saw a man age right before my eyes--but at the moment I still have him with me. It will be a very sad day when he passes, for I am the youngest of six, and the other four have already gone, so when I lose him I will be all alone. I, too, visit him on Tuesday, and look forward to the visit each week, though lately I have been coming home with a very heavy heart. He did have an upswing, but now is going down that slippery slope again. Continue to be the Sunshine in your sister's life. She is lucky to have you. Hope your dear sis is one of the lucky ones.
Much love, LaVern
Donna I thought this was beautifully written ....I enjoy reading everything you write ...this last week I spent at my dad's bedside watching him slip into a coma ....the last words out of my dad's mouth was him saying "Mari" ...so I will always treasure that the rest of my life.
Family is so important as now I only have my brother left and he lives some distance away from me. Yesterday he went home so the feeling of being alone finally hit me.
The Hospice nurses kept telling me that daddy could hear me even though he was not responding ...I kept telling daddy on Thursday that my brother Gary would be here in a few hours ...I truly feel daddy was waiting for my brother ...after Gary arrived we sat in daddy's room and talked until 2am ...talking and laughing about things that we had remembered over the years with daddy ...the Hospice nurse told us that she could tell that daddy had relaxed ...I would tell him that I would be fine and taken care of ....not to worry about myself or Gary ......I told him many times how I loved him ...I know he is now happy as he has been reunited back with my mom and my dog that he loved so much.
Mari
Dear Donna
Zoe has e-mailed me a tag you have done for my beloved dog Tyson, thank you it was a lovely thought, and a lovely tag. I am sure that very soon I will have the strength to print it and put the picture on my desk for allways.
Thank you Blue
Beautiful............Squeeze away girlfriend....Just Squeeze!!!!
-Ellie
Donna that was wonderful ,....love Jan xx
Very well done Donna. I enjoyed reading it very much. Helen
(((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))))))))What a beatiful entry,you have really did a good one this time.I always love reading your journal.Yes,life is to short.HAve a great week.
life is so very short too true hun,it is an inspiration that you hold onto the good things and never dwell on the bad,my thoughts are with you and your family zoe xx
What a beautiful entry Donna. And words to be taken to heart -- anyone's! My only brother is going to be checked for pancreatic cancer. He's had pancreatitis a couple of times. They finally determined that he does not have esophageal cancer. It's so scary. But he just keeps on keeping on doing and enjoying. Wishing you and yours a good week. Linda (Friday's Child)
That is beautiful! Linda
So superbly written donna your words made me feel like i was with you all enjoying your summer. Yes life is so short and precious and god bless your sister and her journey. Awareness of even little things become so much more important when life feels threatened. Squeezing every day out of summer and enjoying all the little things that many of us take for granted is what makes life so precious at times. I am so happy you and your sister and family are doing that. Thank you for sharing your feelings and for a most beautiful entry.
Beautiful entry my friend.
Sug
h
This was beautifully written Donna. I felt you squeeze ever last little bit out of this summer's experiences and painted a beautiful mind picture for us all to see. Memories are what we leave behind or have left to us when loved ones leave us. You have made some stonking great ones so far!
I hope your sister's treatment is successful.
I so love the sounds, visions and smells surrounding the buying of that milkshake and then the welcoming light in your sister's eyes as you arrive bearing it aloft.
God Bless.
Jeanie xx
Seemed like summer flew by this year...I am always left thinking where did it go! Have great week! Hugs,TerryAnn
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Donna that is beautifully written ~ I was walking your path with you and could almost see your Sister's eyes light up when you arrived on her doorstep ~ I am a survivor from Cancer and I hope your Sister will be able to say the same ~ I do so wish her well ~ Ally x
Wow you surely said it from the heart.
Seize the day I always say.
God Bless you ~D your the best.
Song of Solomon 2:12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
This was a beautiful essay. I remember feeling so much like that when my sister was undergoing treatment for cancer. Every feeling is so heightened, life is never so intense as when it is threatened. May your sister live to enjoy more of those moments, enough to make up for the shortening of her time, if that is what it comes down to. You have certainly responded with everything you have got to make her feel loved and cherished. Gerry
Just love reading your blogs...And beautiful tag to match : )
May I please have 1 of these for my name:
Wendy
Ty so much
Blessings,
Wendy
Mermaidgypsy@aol.com
You have written a masterpiece. Summer is not my favorite time, but you have made me realize that it is the squeezing that counts. Anne
I am a reader of Judi's blog and I wanted to read the entries. This was especially meaningful to me as I lost my 33 yr old sister-in-law on June 8th to cancer. I am glad to know you are enjoying each minute with her because you will relive them over and over in your thoughts. I pray that your sister does well with her chemo and you have many more special moments together. Great essay. Hugs to you.
Wow.
All I can say is, 'wow.'
XOXO,
bridgett
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Wow Donna, *BIG HUGS* I am speechless as well. That was simply beautiful, well written and well put. I agreed with it all. Ur very right life is so short. Can be short in an instant. We have to take in all we can. As u said perfectly squeeze. I think many of us dont realize that we take all the simple, little wonderful things for granted. Thank you for sharing this. I really enjoyed reading this and it made me tear up. ur amazing, God bless ur sister. I cant imagine what she goes thru daily and all of you as a family as well. My prayers are always sent her way and all of ur way.Take care hun!
Lots of love & hugs, Leslie
Wow Donna....this was great! I could just picture the things you were describing. Well done girl!!
Pam
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Loved this entry so much Donna...thanks so
much it makes ya stop to think about life...and
how precious it really is!
Hugs,
Terri
Absolutely beautiful sntry D....... see i told you....... you need to write a book
Hugs Jayne
This entry was beautiful. I agree, you do need to write a book. Your an awesome writer. ((((((((Hugs))))))))
Love,
Cindy
THAT was truly beautiful..............
Hugs & Squeezes
That is very touching. ~Mary
So very beautiful...your sister is quite lucky...and so are we.
Hugs,
nancy
My Aunt in AZ is dying from cancer. She has fought it back several times and this time her body just quit...she has little time left. Thank you for sharing this wonderful entry Donna. I have not been squeezing enough. Bless you and your family and may you continue to squeeze life for all you can get. Now I fear I need a milkshake...damn you made it sound so good.
Robin
I've really enjoyed your entries and pictures and all the things that you've shared with us over this summer, Donna. Thanks ever so much for "squeezing" when life throws you lemons. Sending a big (((HUG))) to you and your sister, too!
Always, Rose~*
Fabulous!
Your entry really speaks to me. I have a dear friend who is currently undergoing chemo and like your sister, she is squeezing all that she can out of life. Thank you for this uplifting essay.--Sheria
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D, this is wonderful and so true. We all need to squeeze a bit more out of life and what is precious to us. You've definitely brought things to the forefront. Great entry and good luck!
Donna ... nicely written and so glad you entered the Artsy Essay this month!
let you know I snagged...
yes I can relate to this story
Donna In TEXAS
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"quietness falls as gently as the dew." so peaceful, that line and the images it conjures. lovely, debra
I really think you write beautifully!!!
Joann
this was so touching.. i am here by way of the artsy essay... and i think this is my first visit.. i was encapsulated in your words.. and will return to read more of them,,, thank you so much for sharing this little squeeze of your life... with us....
I can so relate to the squeezing every last drop out of life. No wasting of life's precious juices. thank you for this great analogy.
I can so relate to the squeezing every last drop out of life. No wasting of life's precious juices. thank you for this great analogy.
My warm congratulations to you Donna, on a beautiful and well-written entry.
Judith
http://judithheartsong.blogspot.com/2007/09/august-artsy-essay-winner.html
Woo Hoooooo! Congratulations!! I wanted to put my congrats here as well as on your newest entry ;) I saw your 'prize' over at Judith's, and it is lovely!
Love it D. I could see it in your entries. Congratulations.
Julie
Wow, congratulations babes! You deserve it....awww,*hugs*!! Great entry..first time I've seen it actually!
Love ya
xxxxxxxx
Congrats!
CONGRATS 'D' I learned yah good
GRUMPS
Congratulations on winning and for making the topic your own.
Congrat's Donna on a much deserved win ... You truly did capture the true spirit of this months topic. :)
Kristal
http://apoeticdreamerssoul.blogspot.com/
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Congratulations on winning Donna! I never knew there was such a thing as an artsy essay.
Of course you won! That is a great piece of writing! Thank you for sharing it with us.
Traci
Cograts' on a most beautiful ode to the end of summer.
congratulations on winning!
this is a beautiful essay :]
you are right--life is about squeezing :]
~heather
http://singingwithmyheart.blogspot.com/
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congrats, darlink!! i've been outta pocket, sorry i didn't note earlier! debra
THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!
Well written too, I just loved it !
Congrats on the award, you definitely deserve it!
Marie
PS...bought tears to my eyes Ü
Congratulations, this is a beautifully written essay and your point really hits home in such a positive way. Here's to remembering to squeezing every bit of wonder out of every day!--Sheria
Congrats and you are a good writer. The emotion that you feel spills forth from your writing like a spring waterfall. I'm adding your sister to my prayers at night..hang in there...love, Sandi
Belated congratulations on a wonderful and deservedly winning essay!! Jon
http://journals.aol.com/jayveerhapsody/LoneStarConcerto/
Words of wisdom, heartfelt, true...congrats Donna on being selected. As for staying on topic, that only counts if in college when a prof is setting the standard; this is free-form and writing about whatever comes to you when it comes. Well done!
Hugs,
Dona
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